Sex & Relationships

O.k. good people, I won’t bore you with a long introduction. Here is Part 2 of the story of Lynn. What makes a Woman Cheat?

I went to work in a trance doing what was familiar but not putting any thought to it. My mind was fixated on “W”. We were cities apart and my body was still reacting as if he were next to me. I could feel heat blanket my skin. Any and every trace of worry disappeared. As the days progressed and we talked more it was obvious we were over the first hump. Our conversations became more deep, personal, and sexual. Instead of speaking of sex in a generic sense, we were open and upfront. Moving to intercourse was only a matter of time and opportunity. The question was no longer IF it was going to happen rather WHEN. I fantasized about “W” daily. I wanted to know his “size” and feel him in my hand. We met up again and without hesitation he let out his penis. I literally gasped because it was huge, fascinating, intimidating and beautiful. This was in a relaxed state I could only imagine the erection. “I can’t take all that in!” I told him. He laughed but I was dead serious. Still, my eyes did not move. He asked me how many did I want (orgasms), and then proceeded to give them to me again via the g-spot. I was amazed that he never had to “find” my g-spot. His fingers knew the exact location which brought the exact same results including me being a trance-like state.

Why do I cheat? “W” makes me feel pretty, grown, womanly, natural, and all good things I already knew of myself but he verbally expresses it. I blush in his presence and he nurtures the part of me that has been neglected for a long time.

TALK TO ME! I’M LOOKING FOR YOUR COMMENTS OR YOU CAN EMAIL ME. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. IS LYNN THE ONLY WOMAN WHO HAS FELT THIS WAY? HOLLA AT YA GYRL! godspeed~Latoya

Hey good people! This week I am going to do something different. As you all know I like to write my own commentary and take your mind out of the box and ascend to another level of thought. I’m still going to do that but I’ve invited someone else to write the commentary because if I just told this to you, it wouldn’t be as effective as hearing it from the horses mouth. When a married man cheats it’s talked about as casually as discussing what you ate for breakfast. We are so numb to the fact that men cheat; it’s more of a matter of how long he went without cheating as opposed to when it actually happened. But, when a married woman cheats?! That’s front page news. Most of the time when a man goes outside the marriage it purely sexual with little to no emotion involved. It’s as emotional as putting a 20 dollar bill on the dresser. So what is it with women? Does it go deeper with us? Let me introduce Lynn and her story (paraphrased).

I can’t say having a “jump-off” was something planned and I won’t use the excuse it “just happened”. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years with children, a stable lifestyle and great sex. We both were married with the intention of doing it one time only. We’ve had our obstacles but were always able to work it out. I noticed over a two year period our sex life was slowly changing and he was absent from home. First it was a night out here, a night out there, after that it progressed to two nights then three. Sometimes concurrent, other times spread out. The development of this was so slow that I didn’t realize how routine it had become until we basically stopped having sex. We went from great frequent sex to plain sex once a month then no sex. I went through all the emotional changes’ wondering is it me? Am I good enough? Pretty enough?, the whole nine yards. I talked to my husband until I ran out of words to say and he was nonchalant and unconcerned every time. After realizing the brick wall would never budge I did what a woman does when she is fed up, and tired of fighting. I shut down. I went into protection mode and shut down my heart, emotions and feelings. I was numb to my husbands’ seemingly single lifestyle and decided to focus on me. I know could have left, but it’s not that simple. While I was in limbo I decided to focus on me. I did a personal inventory on my relationship, took responsibility for not shutting his behavior down early, acknowledged he was likely cheating (women’s intuition), but I also let go of blame that I took on for no reason. That was nothing but extra baggage and I became stronger as a woman. I still craved attention from my husband, and I got really good at convincing myself I didn’t need it or his sex. I met “W” in an unlikely setting one would expect to meet a man. A few of us were discussing a news story that had to do with celebrity and sex when “W” invited himself in the conversation offering his take. The chat then turned into a candid discussion of sex. I was intrigued as “W” spoke in a professor like manner about the g-spot, orgasm and squirting (orgasm), the female anatomy and many other things. He was adamant that if a man doesn’t know how to locate your g-spot, make you squirt and orgasm over and over he needs to go home! I didn’t know where my g-spot was and I never squirted. He definitely had my ear as I was trying to learn something. The discussion lasted about 30 minutes, everyone left and “W” gave me his number. We talked for a while and the chemistry was amazing. He was intuitive to my thoughts, fears, nervousness, and hesitation, overall I was guarded. The sound of “W’s” voice exuded patience, sincerity, and compassion and a genuine concern for me. He was in my head, then my heart and my guard let down a little. Our first time alone he asked me was I ready to discover my g-spot. Then he made love to my breasts with his tongue and mouth, inserted his fingers in the “gina” and what came next was a feeling so electric, and paralyzing, that I took a deep breath and forgot to exhale. “breath” he said, and when I exhaled, an orgasm came so intense my back bent in a “matrix” like position. All I could do was ask, “what was that?”. He said, “Your body is doing what it is supposed to do.” That day he unselfishly gave me multiple orgasms with his hand and my g-spot..
THERE IS MORE TO COME. PART 2 WILL POST THIS WEEK. FEEL FREE TO COMMENT THUS FAR AND HOLLA AT YA GYRL WITH YOUR FEELINGS. Godspeed~ Latoya

My last topic we touched on the value we Ladies place on our “Nani” (rightly so) and how we start life planning our man’s future once we decide to share it. Now let’s touch on the power of the pu$$y. If you consider yourself a grown woman, you know how to use it to get your bills paid, that “honey-do” list completed, drinks for you and your girlfriends at the club, the car note paid, a new car! And if you’re including home cooked meals and oral pleasure (on him) in addition to the Nani, then the sky is the limit.

So what happens when it’s not all good in the relationship and now the Nani is used for punishment? I’m not talking about a no-good man who is down right cheating on you and dogging you out. I’m speaking of the man who has got himself together, loves you, and takes care of home. But now because you’ve given an ultimatum (whatever it is. We come up with them all the time), you lock up on the Nani. Example, you have made it clear that until he marries you, or stops watching sports so much, hanging with his boys all the time, clubbing every weekend.. and the list can go on an on, you are not giving it up anymore. One month passes by, now two months and you are steadfast on your commitment to keep the Nani on lock down. Is it really a surprise when you find out he had to call “side bitch” to hold him over? When he met you and fell in love, i’m sure he retired “side bitch”, but of course a man will always hold on to that number just in case and now, you’ve just enforced the “just in case” policy. I’ve talked to several of my male friends about this and thankfully they agree that two wrongs don’t make a right, BUT as my boy so eloquently stated,” if a bum is hungry he is going to ask for a sandwich then he will beg for it. If he still don’t get that sandwich then he gone steal one because its all about survival.”

Folks, who know me and talk to me often have heard me express I have a “no headache” policy. I will never lock down the Nani to make a point. One reason is I would be punishing myself as well so why make me and him suffer? At least through the anger, struggle, disagreement, and sometimes hate we can agree to make love even if we are in the midst of war.

So tell me, ladies do you use sex as punishment? And men, have you ever experienced this? How do you handle the dry spell? Holla at ya Gyrl!