Archive for August, 2008

Are You Longing For A GFE or BFE?

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

ponytail.JPGIt’s not prostitution (supposedly), and it’s not a relationship but it is all that remains in-between. GFE and BFE stand for Girlfriend/Boyfriend Experience. If you are on a time-out from relationships but still long for intimacy, you can purchase perceived intimacy known as the Girl-Friend Experience or Boy-Friend Experience. So what exactly is this?

The experience involves spending time, typically on a date, with the male or female companion as if you were a couple. The fee for services is usually pre-determined and paid upfront before the experience begins. How does this differ from prostitution? Unlike a “John” situation where it’s Wham, Bam Thank You Ma’am, the GFE/BFE entails holding hands, kissing hugging, cuddling, and being really mushy. In addition, sex (oral or intercourse) can be negotiated in which after it’s over, you get to bath in each others arms (for a fee). The night ends with the distorted perception you have spent time with someone who cares about your well being.

Is this revolutionary or just another way to spin the wheel and make it seem not so, well…dirty? Unlike an escort who may be paid to attend a sophisticated event and be a good arm trophy, the GFE/BFE is just a typical date anywhere the John..oops, I meant Client, would like to go. WTF! If I had to guess I would imagine the client profile to be white male, middle aged, with Serial Killer tendencies.

Maybe I’m a little envious because someone thought of it before me. I would be willing to give the REAL GFE for free. Here it is;

When you pick me up, I complain because you are almost an hour late and the baby sitter has been on the clock. While riding in the car I change your radio station to what I want to hear then hop on my cell phone and tell my BFF about the new Usher song I’m listening too. Once we get to the restaurant, my BFF is already there with another mutual friend (I forgot to tell you they were coming). We all sit at the table and order drinks. As me and my girlfriends chat it up, you feel left out because you are not part of our conversation. While we sail through dinner (me and my girlfriends) laughing and ordering more drinks, you secretly become thankful there are big screen televisions to watch, then you wonder why you came on this date in the first place. The bill arrives and I, your GFE escort, slide it over to you without a minuscule of curiosity of the cost. We leave and bid my girlfriends good-bye. I, being the GFE, know you are hopeful that at least the night will end with sex BUT keeping it GFE REAL, I get out the car, tell you I had a good time, then trot my ass in the house bidding you farewell. That, good people, is the REAL GFE.

Now it’s your turn to tell me what you think, I’m listening,.Holla at ya Gyrl !

Are You Hygienically Correct? Let’s Speak Frankly About P.O.

Saturday, August 2nd, 2008

ponytail2.JPGSince we examined the cosmetic appeal of your Nani, I thought I would stay with the Nani and talk about hygienic appeal. Speaking of a reason for a brotha’ not going “down town”! Don’t you know the smell of your Nani could be ruining your sex life!!

Remember that deodorant commercial where the guy raises his arms and thought he was “sure”, but was quickly corrected by his female counterpart who honestly told him “not sure”. He may have been a little embarrassed but at least he knew he had an odor problem. For Women, the only type of odor that’s worse than B.O. is P.O. (You know what I mean), and P.O. must be put in check. Granted, the Nani does have a natural scent, but it’s not offensive, putrid, or foul. I’m still dumbfounded by all the feminine deodorant products available for us women. My logic says if you have to regularly use feminine deodorant products, its time for a trip to the doctor. In addition, the Nani is a delicate area sensitive to chemical cover up. Nani and Spring Flowers don’t mix! That’s the bottom line. I have to give finger snaps to Radiance who posted a comment on my topic;
Black Men Why Aren’t You Going Downtown? To sum it up, Radiance reminds us; just as hair on the armpits invites odor, same goes for the Nani. If you are afflicted with unpleasant P.O. I suggest you read my topic, Ladies Are You Too Damn Sexy Down There? & schedule a wax. Yes it could be as simple as removing the hair. Also, did you know what you eat could be the culprit?

We are in the 20th Century living and speaking in a manner never imagined 40 years ago yet it is still inviolable to speak frankly about the Nani. There are women today who still will not take a mirror and look at their own Nani, let alone admit to P.O. If a woman is not one with her Nani, how could she honestly know a horrible chemical imbalance has taken place?

Let’s examine this and speak more openly than you ever dreamed of on the workings of your Vagina. Our Nani is designed to be self maintaining and self cleansing (hint: no need for feminine deodorant products). The Nani is acidic and produces good bacteria to fight infection. A healthy Nani cleans itself by producing a normal discharge that can be clear or milky white in color & no odor. This is the natural Ph balance of the Nani. This balance is delicate and can be easily disrupted by;
- douches
- feminine hygiene products
- deodorant soaps
- antibiotics
- pregnancy
- stress
Even your diet can affect the Ph balance making you more vulnerable to an unpleasant smell. A diet high in saturated fats and processed foods does not provide necessary nutrients needed to keep your body healthy and vibrant. The domino effect is P.O.

Ladies I want to know are you one with your Nani? What are your thoughts?Talk to me and Holla at ya Gyrl!

Godspeed,
Latoya