It is amazing how often Women will state, “I need a real man”, not realizing they have already had many. I know there are some crappy picks in the litter, but how can you truly measure the Crappy vs the Worthy if you never allow your man to step up to the plate. A man has to feel in his heart he is needed by his woman. If he is not valued in his own home, he will drift.
When a man falls in love with you he is hardwired to please you, stand up for you, protect you and be a Man to you. He wants to pay the bills, fix stuff around the house (even if he doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing), help you with chores, do his part with the children, and basically spoil you. But you make it difficult for him to own his role when you complain about everything he does. If he cleans the house, you point out what he missed; when he attempts to cook dinner you’re directing him on what to cook next time and how to cook it; when he is tough with the kids you undermine his authority in front of the kids, and if does anything on his own, your giving him unsolicited advice on how he can do it better the next time.
If your intentions were to commit yourself to a Man then stop treating him like a Boy! Talk to him with the respect he deserves, especially in front of his friends. You picked him and I’m assuming you would not choose a man you have no respect for, so back off a little.
I’m so relieved Men are not as “helpful” as we try to be 
They are so wonderful about not stepping into our territory and allowing us shine. Why not do the same for them?
Have you replaced your Man with a Boy? I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl!
Godspeed,
Latoya
Tags: Love, Man, Men, Relationships, taking over, women changing men
this is an interesting topic… i do believe men like to do things to please those they care about. as a show of the fact that they can handle business and as a reminder of why they were chosen out of the pack. it’s a very primal urge, one i think stems from the same place as the motivation for guys to play contact sports, and put it down in the bedroom. but what about when it becomes so routine that people just expect it? that’s when it becomes a real problem to me (same can be said for the things women do) and its a whole other topic entirely.
i enjoy doing things to remove stress from my lady’s life, but i dont want to be asked to do something if im going to be watched the whole time. i’ll drop what im doing right in the middle of it and ask you if you’d rather be doing it. 2 people cant do a 1 person job.
Grown,
Your exactly right and if i’m asking you to do something whether its a task or advice, I’m asking because I trust you will carry it out. Us Women are not accustomed to “letting go”. We are always in “fix it” mode even when its not appropriate. It sort of how we are wired as well ( that nuturing thing) BUT I wrote this topic for those who are EXTREME with wearing the pants.
To answer your question about “expecting” things from each other in relationships; its not a bad thing to know I can rely on you to handle certain things. For men it may be the expectation that meals will be prepared and for women it may be the expectation that bills will get paid, but when we talk about it, most people are o.k. with the “routine” of getting their issue. Its the giving that wears off. Your right that is a future topic, but nevertheless the question is as relevant as the rest of your comment.
You could not be more right! I have a bunch of friends in bad relationships. The relationships could grow if they would stop over stepping and play their roles. Females don’t know how to just relax and be a female but at the same time they want their men to be “superman.” I have one friend who doesn’t want her man to take the kids to the park cause she’d prefer for him to be at the gym trying to go pro. Her goal here is money instead of a good man and father. I have another friend who tries to solve and fix everything in her relationship by herself. She doesn’t give her man the opportunity to identify or solve the problem. Which means he can never grow or become a better boyfriend to her. Women must learn how to play their part. I learned at a young age!
Its nice to see a woman who has somewhat figured it out.I think its nature an nurture with ya husband.some things we will naturally do an others we will learn to do.me an my wife have been together 15 years an married nine.to celebrate the 9th year we had my mom watch our kids an we took a 4 day vacation to new york…alone!my suggestion because I always remind my wife yes our beautiful was grown an thru love we shared for one another an they are the bi product of our love.women naturally think children 1st an this is normal and unfortunately that’s where husbands seem left out at times.therefore,its totally necessary to infuse some fire into your marriage…not justs on anniversaries,but frequently!to keep your king and queen requirrements met say what u want him to do an men tell her what u like about her an never change.most importantly tell her u love an appreciate all she does!…I think I’ve almost got the job figured out!wink.
Nick I think most long term relationships are “works in progress” because you learn so much about each other and change as time moves on. Like you said the key is to FREQUENTLY keep the fire in the relationship instead of reserving it only for Holidays and special occasions.
Latoya