I recently became aware a distant acquaintance of mine is now engaged to be married. Encompassed by traditional sounds of “awe” and excitement, I said,”wow, what a blessing to have found The One.” A mutual friend quickly replied in a matter-of fact manner,
“it’s time for her to settle down anyway because she’s about to be 40 (years old). It’s been time.”
That statement kind of took me aback. I wondered how much pressure this newly engaged woman had endured throughout the years by choosing to exercise patience with her heart. How many beautiful weddings had she attended only to witness Divorce a short time later? And how many times has she had to answer the proverbial question: When are you going to get married? Most of us (women) put so much focus on a Wedding and a ceremony, we miss cultivating a relationship that is rooted and ready for Holy Matrimony. The moment a man says those three magic words, we are picking up bridal catalogs, trying on rings, and selecting the wedding party. Whoa…Gyrlfriend, can we pump brakes for a moment? Yes! He has just confirmed he loves you (and of course you love him). Yes! Both of you have committed to exclusivity, but No! The chips will not automatically align just because we are here. Imagine you have these seeds. The seeds represent your heart, soul, emotions, and everything you hold sacred. You protect these seeds because they are all you have. Your only job is to choose the soil in which you plant them. When you and your man take that step forward, both of you have chose the soil; next, you get your hands dirty and build.
Take your time Gyrlfriend! Don’t fall to the pressure of feeling inadequate or behind because marriage or the possibility of has not entered your life by a certain time. Those seeds are not for anybody, yet many of us sow them with “anybodies” and end up in a lifeless marriage rooted with the wrong person to begin with. When you sow with good, healthy soil; the Harvest is bound to be abundant. Happy planting 
Have you been invaded with the proverbial question?…I’m listening…………Holla at ya Gyrl !
Latoya
WordsRmylife
Tags: lifeless marriage, Love, marriage, planting, relationship roots, seeds
Mannn!! I hate this topic. It seems like everyone thinks that by a certain age a woman has to be married, nevertheless, a man the same age, not married is a “playa” or whatever else. I was having a convo with some people I stay with about this. I said, “Man, I never wanna get married.” You would THINK the whole world stopped, guys and chicks were telling me I should b/c that’s everyone’s ultimate goal..yea, but maybe not everyone’s. I couldn’t believe how they were coming down on me b/c I said I never wanted to get a divorce. Then they were like well you can’t go into a marriage thinking that! I’m like OK, you’re proving my point. That’s how I think and that’s why I don’t want to do it, b/c I will NOT take up with someone’s crap just b/c we’re married F that. Let’s chill…live our life and if we break up, we break up, at least there will not be paperwork involved! Sry Miss. I’m digressing but this got me heated. May have to blog on this topic.
Vixen, you are right in standing firm on your position. Marriage may find its way in your heart one day…or not
but the point is that you are mature enough to be honest about not even wanting to go there!
So many people fall to the pressure of not being what “society” says they should be “by a certain age” that haphazard mistakes are made to “catch-up”.
You can have a beautiful relationship without the piece of paper but it would be irresponsible of me not to mention that the paper establishes the business aspect of marriage such a division of property, community property, beneficiary benefits should a death occur etc…
Maybe some of those married folks are secretly envying your freedom…Hmmm..Nevertheless when your ready for that committment you won’t have any doubts about it