Sex & Relationships

Technology has forever changed the way we live. We went from exercising patience to expecting everything now and right now! Meals are micro waved in minutes, obtaining information is instant, and our cell phones are used for everything except talking. With the abundance of communication routes our relationships with one another should be thriving as well, however that is not the case.

Families and couples are disengaging from one of our basic needs: physical human contact. Walk into any household and more often than not your eyes will be met with family members engaged in their laptops or tablets. The rule of eye contact is becoming obsolete as people prefer to handle their conversations electronically.

I watched a show on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) called Kidnapped by the Kids. The show profiles families who are torn apart due to work-aholic parents unable to disconnect from cyber world to connect with their families in the real world. It was heartbreaking to watch these children begging and pleading for something they have a right to as little beings on this earth: quality time.

As our time shortens on this earth I can only hope we remember the only relationships we hold close to heart are the ones we form with people, not inanimate objects.

Does your technological gadgets receive more quality time than your family? Now I want to hear from you. Holla at ya Gyrl!

Creating a social network profile lends itself to as much deceit as any other high tech communication device. 2010 exposed relationships and marriages being eradicated due to Facebook infidelity. Abc News reports that 20 percent of divorces involve Facebook. This has become such a hot topic; couples should be concerned about reinforcing the establishment of their union and discussing some clear boundaries in the social networking arena.

How do the committed have fun with social networking without falling into the traps?

1. Don’t hide anything. Your page should be open to your spouse as well. Trust and respect of each other’s privacy is important but refraining from locking down your profile keeps the Invaders at bay and eliminates the temptation to indulge in questionable conversations.

2. Beware of Invaders! Invaders are people from your past or present who are looking to invade your relationship. They can be old loves, high school sweethearts, some who had or currently has a crush on you. An Invader will always throw a hook out regardless of the clarity of your relationship status. Their job is to lurk around and find the weak spots needed to move in. Pictures, status updates, and groups you join speak as much about you as a mini biography. If a solid relationship is presented, the Invaders will move on, but ….if you’re portraying yourself as the lonely girl needing attention, it will most definitely receive it as such.

3. Always respect the one your with first. Social networking is fun but it shouldn’t be the “other” person in your life. Be mindful of provocative photo’s, sexual innuendos, and exposing too much of your marital woes. All these things indicate you are welcoming the wrong kind of attention. Invaders love it! It’s the green light they need to start chatting and sending you Inbox messages.

Social Networking is the new Club scene and with that comes everything you would expect while being at the club. Remember; your “friends” are going to respond to what you release into cyber space. It’s your canvas, be guarded in the story you tell.

Is Facebook the “other” person in your life?…Holla at ya Gyrl!

I’m going to ask you something that I want you to think about before you answer: Have you ever struggled with something that made you feel so uneasy or uncomfortable, your mind could not rest? When this happens, you are at the door of a life changing transition. That feeling exists because you know in your heart this transition will have its casualties. There will be loss, even of people you hold close to your heart. If you live long enough, loss of something is inevitable. Whether it is your job, marriage, relationship or loss of everything; it happens. We even lose ourselves along the way!

Our most difficult struggles yield the greatest reward, yet we are taught a one sided view of struggle and hard-times being synonymous with tragedy. Like a caterpillar going through Metamorphosis, once the caterpillar is a butterfly he will never be a caterpillar again. He will no longer inch along on the same leaves and stems because now he is able to fly. Most of us give-up on transition right at the point of becoming a cocoon and stay stuck right there! The fear of doing something different, changing your circle of friends and taking risks keep you from breaking out of that shell.

Moving forward and experiencing all or as much as there is to offer always involves leaving people behind. Transition is a unique battlefield and in order to see completion we MUST leave people behind. Leaving people doesn’t mean you’ve left them for dead. It’s allowing them space to experience their own metamorphosis and YOU are the lead runner so they can see what waits at the end.

Are you ready to complete your Metamorphosis?…I’m listening….Holla at ya Gyrl!

Life is full of moments. Some are lasting and others you may never want to recall, but there is a distinct moment one never forgets in a lifetime. When it strikes you realize every previous encounter was a prelude to this day. It begins with harmless, casual, conversation then slowly progresses to something unexplainable. Thoughts of this person enter your mind without effort. Not knowing or even understanding why; you become curious. The urge to scratch beneath the surface is apparent and you are now more engaged, asking questions, and soaking in any information that comes your way. Then you find yourself in the presence of this person and it happens…the moment…It’s the moment you gaze into the eyes and see something not noticed before. The eyes speak to your soul extending the warmest invitation to an open heart. In that moment you realize you want to be more than someone who passes through. No longer is casual good enough; instead, your feet are ready to plant roots right where they stand!

The excitement of “the moment” feels so good that it brings forth a push to rush to the next phase; but this is the time to pause, inhale deep….. Then slowly exhale….. and live in it. As yesterday escapes us and tomorrow remains undetermined, this moment you are experiencing is right now! And one you can hover in.

When you plant your seeds and begin to take steps with this person, the road ahead is unpredictable. Whether you recall your moment with your Love while sitting in rocking chairs or hold it in your heart as a memory of what was, you will never regret taking the time to inhale and absorb its joy for all its worth.

Now I’m asking: Will you hover in your Moment?…I’m listening…now Holla at ya Gyrl!

We first met in the fourth grade when a note was passed my way. It read “do you like me? Yes or No – circle one.” This is my first memory of a tingly feeling inside. My fetal mind was unable to describe it. I only knew it made me smile. The seed was planted and without any evidence of your arrival you disappeared. Honestly, I can’t really say that I missed you. My 9 year old mind was not ready for you. Then;

I got to know you in High School when you returned to me. Contrasting our first introduction; you stayed a while placing yourself in the [perfect vehicle] to nurture my heart. You taught me passion, gave me permission to receive you, and showed me how worthy I am of you. I learned your depth, range; I embraced your ability to make everything in my sight……………Beautiful. We had the perfect relationship, but eclipsed from me was another part of you.
Throughout my childhood I had experienced various types of hurt, but never had I felt such pain as I did the day you left me. I couldn’t help but wonder how you could shine on me and teach me so many things. Wrap your arms my soul and tug at my heart strings and suddenly, without a warning……….. turn your back on me. How could I ever forgive you enough to let you back in? Then;

In my adulthood I understood you. I learned that you are a gift. The Greatest gift and to truly understand your depth I had to experience every facet of you. I took for granted your gratitude, forgiveness, pain, pleasure, expression, and acceptance. Instead of cherishing our time together, I selfishly assumed I was your only student.

Love; in this ode to you I only hope you will accept my apology for not lifting you as high as my arms reach. I looked past you instead of taking you in with a slowwwwwwww inhale.

Love..Do you remember me?

Words are my life and this is my ode to Love. Have you taken Love for granted? Is your heart prepared for Love? Speak to me…I’m listening….Holla at ya Gyrl!