Posts Tagged ‘children’

Can you fill the “shoes” of Big Daddy?

Sunday, June 21st, 2009

toyagrn.JPGIt’s obvious my advocacy rest on the hearts of Men. Hence my topics are filled with reference to Big Daddy. I repeatedly talk about; taking care of Big Daddy, putting Big Daddy first, being Big Daddy’s girlfriend etc… I haven’t met a man yet who doesn’t smile and hold out his chest when I acknowledge him as Big Daddy. This got me thinking: Maybe I should elaborate on what it takes to be Big Daddy.

There are those who title themselves Big Daddy and there are those who LIVE Big Daddy. In my writings, I speak for those who LIVE Big Daddy. There are benefits and responsibilities to this role. Every Man wants the benefits but few absorb the responsibility. Big Daddy does what he has to do to provide for his family and that’s the bottom line. In his house hold he accepts the weight of keeping the mortgage/ bills paid, and food on the table.

Where us Ladies like to show off our diamond rings and trinkets, Big Daddy‘s pride lies in the presentation of his home, his Woman and his children. He works all day every day, smiling in the presence of his crappy bosses when he really wants to tell them to go…you know. When the budget is tight he places his needs on the back burner to make certain his family is lacking nothing. At his woman’s request, Big Daddy will sit with her and all her cackling friends subjected to mindless conversation when he would rather hang with the fellas; wear hot ass suits in the Summer to attend the weddings of people he don’t even know; sit through chic flicks, and Disney movies, need I say more?

What’s most important is at the end of the day, when the dishes are washed, kids are sleep and the house is shut down for the evening, Big Daddy is still on his job….taking care of Big Mama so she can have a restful slumber (but that’s the fun part). Big Fist in the air to those who LIVE Big Daddy…Happy Fathers Day.

Oops..I almost forgot the question! O.k. Ladies, if you have a Big Daddy in your life, time to make it known. Put him on blast right now.
Fellas, if you LIVE Big Daddy I want to hear from you! Ya’ll know what to do…I’m listening…now Holla at ya Gyrl !

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Will You Be His Best Cheerleader?

Monday, March 16th, 2009

toyagrn.JPGWomen are intrinsic nurturers, advisers, instructors, and teachers. We are so patient and loving. Even when it’s necessary to impart “tough love” we do so with a loving hand. We are commissioned to be so many things that our role becomes one big blur in the handling of our children and our Men. I often hear men complain they are treated like children at home. Now let me clarify before I continue: Some of you (Men) are treated like children because you act like a child: This topic is not for you.

I want my Gyrlfriends with real Men to take a breath (Inhale…now exhale),then read what I have to say with an open heart and an honest mind.

Did you know your man needs you to be his best Cheerleader? That means when he comes home from work, greet him with excitement, kiss him with passion, and listen. That is his instant band-aid for the wounds he collected through out the day. See, I don’t know how to walk in a Mans’ shoes because I’m not one; but I do know that life beats harder on Men than Women. Therefore when he comes home feeling defeated (and he will), don’t go into “fix it” mode by lecturing or giving instruction. Your expertise is not needed. Plus, he can get an opinion from anyone; but what he does need?! he can ONLY get from YOU. YOU are the reason he battles the world, roars the loudest and grudgingly tucks his tail sometimes when he really wants to tell his boss to go to Hell. YOU are his motivation so be available! Be available to listen, nurture, massage his shoulders, rub his head, lay with him etc. More importantly take- his- side. Make it clear you are here for him. Remember, this is his moment so don’t one up him with a comparison of how bad your day was.

I know I’m always pointing the finger at us and its likely your wondering is all that really necessary? Nope, it isn’t. It’s only necessary if you’re with a man you truly love and plan on spending your life with.

Will you be his Best Cheerleader? Speak to me….I’m listening….Holla at ya Gyrl !


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Can I Give You Permission To Say……?

Monday, September 8th, 2008

toya2.JPGHey Ladies, I know how it is when you have a million responsibilities and not enough time in the day to give them all your full attention. Everyday something important gets neglected and you go to bed feeling guilty. Today is the day we are going to change all of that because I am giving you permission to say Phuc- it!….Yes! Phuc-it with a capitol “P”.

Allowing yourself to say Phuc-it comes with its boundaries and regulations and while every woman does not meet the Phuc-it criteria, this blog will help determine if you need to include a Phuc-it clause to your current life style. Thanks to our bra burning women of the 60’s us Ladies get to super-size our responsibilities. In addition to keeping our home, children and husbands we also have work and bills to contribute to. Home and work meld together as we find ourselves completing home tasks from work such as scheduling Medical and Dental appointments, and using home to complete what we did not finish at work. We use our breaks and lunch hour to grocery shop, pay bills, make bank runs, and any other medial task we can fit in just to buy some time for what’s coming after work. As Women, we take such an enormous pride and ownership in what we do, that when a glitch in the program happens we become discombobulated and emotional. One glitch feels like total failure and let down of our family and loved ones. Unbeknownst to your feelings, loved ones will be the first to let you know you fell short a bit. Not in a Hater kind of way, but in a “trying to help but not really helping” kind of way.

When you feel yourself becoming mentally over loaded and on the verge of breaking down it’s time to stop, pour a glass of wine, kick your feet up and say, Phuc-it! I personally ascribe to a Phuc-it life style. If you meet the criteria of being over worked, stretched thin and underappreciated at times, here are my list of tasks you should never feel guilty about doing because you had to say Phuc-it;

1. Putting the kids to bed without a bath
2. Letting the kids eat Cereal or Top Ramen for dinner because you were too tired to cook
3. Not washing the dishes before you went to bed
4. Falling asleep with your clothes on
5. Letting the kids fall asleep with their clothes on
6. Ignoring the phones
7. Making everyone go to bed extra early so you can take a long hot bath with bubbles
8. Having a second glass of wine because the first glass wasn’t enough to totally wind you down
9. Piled up Laundry
10. Not cooking at all and letting everyone scavenge the kitchen for their own dinner ( if you have teen-age children)

Some of you may have immediately noticed that sex is nowhere on the list. Sorry Ladies you can’t say Phuc-it to Big Daddy. I want you to be one with your spirit not Divorced.

Do you have anything you want to add to the list? Holla’ at ya Gyrl ! and let me know.

Godspeed
Latoya

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