Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

Are you lost in the Institution of Marriage?

Thursday, June 16th, 2011

If the institution of marriage has failed you, perhaps it’s because of instituted beliefs and traditions superfluous to the foundation of marriage. Let’s examine the word Institute. It is to operate under establishment: something instituted is under authoritative rule or precedence.

The concept of marriage has become more about conformity and expectation rather than development of a Relationship. As soon as we join in Holy Matrimony, the word relationship leaves our vocabulary all together. It’s as if the top of the mountain is reached and there is nothing left to work on. Prior to marriage, when we are in “relationship” our behavior toward each other is so accommodating and gracious. We understand that sometimes a compromise is necessary to work through issues; we respect our differences. In “relationship” your love is avowed and there is no room for uncertainties…. Then…. we enter the Institution of Marriage and all the gratitude turns into attitude and enrapture changes to entitlement. We interpret that Deed to mean: “I own you and with this contract you must abide by the laws of my wants!” There is no asking; only demanding. Winning a disagreement becomes bigger than the issue at hand. This Institution makes a woman believe her husband doesn’t love her if he’s empty handed on Valentine’s Day, as if the other 364 days meant nothing. This Institution makes a man feel if he isn’t firmly dictating the decree in his home, he has no control of it. I don’t understand the shift to a totalitarian state of mind.

When we enter in union, an eminent more spiritual level of relationship is approached. In order for that to grow, it must be nurtured. What am I saying? There is a RELATIONSHIP that continues to build after marriage and it’s far more personal than an Institution.

I may be against the Institution of Marriage however I am 100% for the Relationship of Marriage.

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Posted in Relationships | 1 Comment »

What’s Most Important To You? Love or the Number.

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

toyagrn.JPGI am awestruck when in the presence of couples who have been married for decades. They recite their numbers with enormous pride and rightfully so. I find myself wanting to step into their shoes and know what love feels like after 20, 30, 40 plus years of marriage. I wait anxiously for the story behind the number, but it never follows; and when I ask questions such as, “what is the glue that keeps your marriage together? Or How do you stay together so long?” the question is proceeded with an uncomfortable silence. Although Love and Marriage are compatible with one another I bet if you asked the questions; How long have you been married? and How long have you been in love? It is likely you would get 2 different answers.

Our fixation with the number of years married seems to over-ride whether passion and deep love still exist. I had an “ah ha” moment when I was confided in by someone close to me married almost 30 years. In my life, this couple was comparable to the “Huxtables” ; envied by most, financially sound, and seemingly affectionate toward one another. A tragic event happened which lead me to her and as our conversation became more intimate she disclosed the details of her loveless marriage and regrets not divorcing at her 10 year mark. She described virtually two strangers living among each other raising children. Now in her late forties, she has accepted her way of life as being as good as it gets.

One of my biggest fears is to look back on my life in my old age and regret not having the courage to make a decision that would have changed my life. I don’t claim to fully understand love but I do know I have not been to the depth of it. I know I would never negotiate love for the sake of a number. I would never choose a number over love. How about you?

I want to know, how many of you find that your number of years married are synonymous (or not) with love….I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl !

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Posted in Relationships | 4 Comments »

Have You Experienced The “G”?

Monday, November 24th, 2008

toyapnk.JPGI want to spend a few topics focusing on the different types of Orgasms a woman can have. We all know about the most common ones like vaginal and clitoral. Although any type of Orgasm a woman is able to experience without faking is good, I want to get out of “regular” and delve into Intense and extraordinary. This is an area where Men rule because Men are guaranteed to ejaculate with EVERY sexual experience they have, bottom line. With Women it’s not always that easy so we get a broader spectrum of alternatives and the Men in our lives have the exclusive opportunity to gift us with an orgasm. This week I have chosen to talk about the “G”.

Much debate still continues over whether the G-spot exists. At this point in my life I’m convinced that Women who feel the G-spot is a myth has never experienced an orgasm from the G, and Men who agree the G-spot is a myth have no clue how to find it. Patience is a Virtue when locating the G, because if you have never been there it’s likely you won’t find it if you give up too quickly. The worst thing you can do is become so fixated on trying to find your woman’s G-spot that your sexual experience with her becomes sterile and rigid as opposed to a sensual journey.

A G-spot orgasm is more intense and heightened than a vaginal one. You will know when you hit your woman’s G-spot because she will release a sound unlike any you have ever heard and her back will arch so high even you will be amazed! Now let’s find it.

Women can also locate their own G-spot, but for the purpose of clarity, I’m writing this with the intention of a couple doing this together. First, slowly insert your finger (s) inside the Nani crooking it forward in a “come here” motion until you are up to the second knuckle. The texture of her vagina should feel slightly bumpy or ridged. That’s when you know you have entered the “G”. The other tell tale sign is that is that her breathing and movement is noticeably heavier.

She won’t orgasm immediately but she will lose ALL control of her body. The intensity of her orgasm depends on the pressure you give to get her there. It varies. This is something you will have to experiment with. If her G-spot is swollen, she is already fully aroused and the blood has rushed to that area. She is on the brink of orgasm and your “come here” motion should start at least at medium to heavy pressure. That’s it! All you have to remember is “come here”.

Ladies have you experienced the “G”? Fella’s can you stimulate the “G” and give your woman one of the most incredible orgasms ever?…I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl !

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Posted in Sex | 15 Comments »